New Journey

Heartache.

It's one of those things that people are going through every single day, but you never quite grasp the intensity of it until you experience it for yourself.

No I'm not talking about, oh you broke up after 6 months, no, but after years.

Enough time where you think you know where your life is heading, you think you know who you're going to be with and you build your dreams around that fact.

Obviously, this is what I'm going through. After 3 1/2 years, I find myself single. I find myself heartbroken. I find myself lost.

So here I am.

I'm tired of being sad, I'm tired of hurting, and I'm ready to start pulling myself out of this and moving on. We all say "I know this is for the better, and God obviously has other plans for my life than what I have for myself." Yes, I'm guilty of SAYING that, but now I'm fully ready to start BELIEVING that.

Which brings me to a journal about finding comfort. In myself. In my friends. In the Lord.

The most important thing to remember is you cannot travel this road alone. You're already finding yourself lonely, so you cannot overcome loneliness with MORE loneliness. So as I lay in bed last night trying to sleep with overwhelming sadness filling my soul, I texted a friend who I knew I could depend on, a friend who is a strong and faithful follower of the Lord and always looks on the bright side of life, and her spirit can always infiltrate mine.

Her words of course made me feel better. She told me she was praying for me (it's very empowering to know someone is praying for you) and didn't know how, but knew that God was in this situation and in the end my future will be so good and honoring to the Lord. And she sent this:

²⁸"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29

So there we go. Plain and simple. God says that if we lean on him, our souls will find rest. Ah, isn't that what I need right now. It's hard sometimes to give your problems to God because in some sort of twisted way, we want to be miserable in times like these. We want to be selfish and sad and dwell upon our lost love, our lost fantasy. Although, here plain as day, we are promised that if we come before Him, we will get what we need: restoration.

So from here on out, I'm not doing this alone. I will lean on my friends and most of all lean on the Lord, for I know he will get me through this. I may not understand now, I may have thoughts of "will I ever find someone else?" "why is this happening" blah blah blah, I know that those things are detrimental to overcoming this and I will not be the reason for my own saddness.

I know it won't happen tomorrow or the next day, or maybe not for months and months, but I will get through this and my heart will mend.

My last thought for right now is:

Ecclesiastes 4:10
If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!